Lonesome Dove Western Bistro
If every stereotypical oil magnate had a restaurant, they would all look like Lonesome Dove. From the massive leather booths to the towering cast-iron chandeliers, everything about the place screams rich man cave. This is an aggressive choice for a casual meal with friends, but it does have classy happy hour potential thanks to the massive bar area. Lonesome Dove is best used to impress your dad who still doesn't get what “social media” is. We recommend kicking off the meal with the Brussels sprouts salad and Fettine Trio so you can get a nice primer hit of rabbit-rattlesnake sausage without having to go all in on it. Then, you literally have the pick of the farm, desert, and pasture with the main courses. Honestly, name an edible land-bound animal that isn't represented on this menu and we’ll give you five dollars*. No matter what you go with, your carnivorous urges are sure to be satisfied. The sides are great, too, if you're looking for some non-meat. Not that you'll have room for them.
*We will “give” you $5, but not actually give you $5. We're still a start-up, people.