NYCReview
Mission Chinese Food Brooklyn
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There are certain things you really only need to do once. Like cage dive with great whites, argue about politics with your father-in-law, or drunkenly get a tattoo. Even though you claim you don’t regret those Semisonic lyrics on your forearm, you’re probably not going to go back for the second verse. For us, dinner at Mission Chinese Food in Bushwick falls into the same category. Experiencing it once is enough.
This is the second location of Mission Chinese in New York City, and if you’ve been to the original on the LES, know that this place is like its younger, louder, rowdier sibling. Overhead lights continuously change the space between neon shades of red, yellow, green, and purple, so you feel a little like you’re eating in an Area 51 cafeteria during a fire drill. The open, concrete dining room has TV screens above the bar playing videos of people eating huge spreads of food. Head downstairs to the bathroom at any point, and on the mirrors, you’ll find video displays of Chinese characters streaming downwards like on a monitor in The Matrix.
Like at the original Mission Chinese, food arrives all at once and quickly, with a few things that work well, and others you should definitely avoid. The kung pao pastrami and stir-fried celery are both so salty that you’ll want to ask for a handful of cough drops rather than a glass of water. Even just one spoonful of the vinegar peanuts tastes like a shot of sweetened vinegar. And the salt cod fried rice is bland to the point that it’s essentially just a $16 bowl of warm white rice.
On the other hand, the intensely spicy Chongqing chicken wings, with juicy meat and crispy skin, should definitely be on your table. There are also very good drunken noodles, with rich stir-fried ramen, chicken sausage, and sweet pink peppercorns. And the best thing here is the sourdough naan, which has a chewy and slightly charred texture, and a coating of honey butter and tangy sheep’s milk cheese.
Avoiding the misses on the menu takes some strategizing, but getting your drink order right is easy - focus on the excellent cocktails, like the Phil Khallins with gin and coconut milk or the General Tso’s whiskey sour. While a lot of the atmosphere is more distracting than it is enjoyable, you won’t forget a meal here anytime soon. And it’s certainly less of a commitment than getting the chorus to Closing Time tattooed on your forearm.